winner for HAHAT

Laurie is the winner for a contribution in her name to the IT GETS BETTER project, along with a free copy of a book of her choosing. Thanks to all of you for participating in the hop and for your support of LGBTQ rights.

If you're curious, I used random.org to draw for the winner:)

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia - May 17

My name is Theda Black, and I welcome you to my little corner of the blogosphere. I'm an LGBT writer, also a horror/erotica writer under another name. It seems like an odd combination of interests, I know. I'm interested in edgy situations, intense relationships, passionate events and no safety nets. I explore the emotional and sometimes physical limits of my characters, particularly involving what they can and will endure for the sake of love. Often that involves darker storylines than normal.  You can find out more about me at blackbara.net.

I started several posts for HAHAT 2013 and had to scrap them all. Talking about the issues in general terms just wasn't working. It's personal, and once I understood how I needed to talk about it, things fell into place. 

True story:

I live in Tennessee. My daughter, age fifteen, is attracted to boys. Her best friend's dad, a preacher, found out about it. I discovered later on that he'd walked around our neighborhood, questioning the kids  because of a rumor he'd heard. One of the neighborhood kids told me she'd felt intimidated by him. 

Over the next year she wasn't allowed to see her best friend, someone she's known and loved since elementary school.

The year passed. My daughter is allowed to see her friend again, but not to sleep over. Her friend stayed with us many times in the past, for fun times and during times when her family needed someone to look after her, and vice versa. All of that is over now. I am angry about this, but my daughter says it's progress, and she'll take it. 

My daughter is a brave person. She holds her boyfriend's hand in public. In one of her high school classes, she challenged the teacher who aired a negative view on heterosexuality. She and her boyfriend exchanged gifts at school on Valentine's Day and took a little flak for it, but not much. It was a good day. 

Most of the time when people at school question her, tease her, treat her like an interesting but completely different species they found inside the classroom, she responds civilly. She has a light, even-handed touch when responding, even though on some days all she really wants is to be left in peace.  She only cried once at the bullying she's gotten at school this year, and then she came home and told me. The school dealt with it in a prompt and satisfactory way. I was so very happy to have the school's support and impressed by their response. 

This is what it's like for my daughter, growing up. I am incredibly proud of her and humbled by her attitude, her forthrightness, and her bravery.

Oh, but wait - this is how it really goes.

I live in Tennessee. My daughter, age fifteen, is attracted to girls. Her best friend's dad, a preacher, found out about it. I discovered later on that he'd walked around our neighborhood, questioning the kids  because of a rumor he'd heard. One of the neighborhood kids told me she'd felt intimidated by him. 

Over the next year she wasn't allowed to see her best friend, someone she's known and loved since elementary school.  

The year passed. My daughter is allowed to see her friend again, but not to sleep over. Her friend stayed with us many times in the past, for fun times and during times when her family needed someone to look after her, and vice versa. All of that is over now. I am angry about this, but my daughter says it's progress, and she'll take it.

My daughter is a brave person. She holds her girlfriend's hand in public. In one of her high school classes, she challenged the teacher who aired a negative view of same-sex relationships. She and her girlfriend exchanged gifts at school on Valentine's Day and took a little flak for it, but not much. It was a good day. 

Most of the time when people at school question her, tease her, treat her like an interesting but completely different species they found inside the classroom, she responds civilly. She has a light, even-handed touch when responding, even though on some days all she really wants is to be left in peace.  She only cried once at the bullying she's gotten at school this year, and then she came home and told me. The school dealt with it in a prompt and satisfactory way. I was so very happy to have the school's support and impressed by their response. 

This is what it's like for my daughter, growing up and identifying openly as lesbian. I am incredibly proud of her and humbled by her attitude, her forthrightness, and her bravery.

Does her story make more sense now?

 

It shouldn't. 

 

****

  links of interest: Violence Prevention     Bullying Statistics     stopbullying.gov

 

Leave a comment (with your email address) for a chance to win! I'd love to make a donation in your name (or a name of your choice) to the IT GETS BETTER project. You're also welcome to a free copy of a novella from my backlist - let me know the title you choose along with the preferred format (mobi, PDF, or epub). I'll draw for the winner the day after HAHAT ends.

 

research on wolves and notes to self

For BtNM and Rising Wolf, I very consciously chose to make my weres monsters while under the influence of the full moon. The classic version of the werewolf only shifting when the moon is full, or of being turned into a werewolf via a bite from another werewolf, are actually 20th century additions to werewolf folklore (movie lore, more like). I grew up with those ideas and love them, so I used them. But I had to expand on my version of werewolves for Rising Wolf and used actual wolf pack dynamics as a starting point. So, research.

quote pertinent to RW (or why Mal isn't killed almost immediately for threatening the pack's alpha male):

Furthermore, the breeding male defers posturally when he approaches the breeding female tending young pups. On 26 June 1990, I observed the breeding male walk toward the female in the den "excitedly wagging his tail and body." Similarly, on 18 May 1990 in Denali Park, Alaska, I observed radio-collared breeding male 251 in the Headquarters Pack (Mech et al. 1998) approach breeding female 307 when she was in a den with pups and begin to "wiggle walk," waving his back end and tail like a subordinate approaching a dominant. The female emerged from the den and the male then regurgitated to her. These were the only times I have ever seen a breeding male act submissively toward any other wolf, and it seems to indicate that the breeding female is temporarily dominant to even the breeding male before the pups emerge from the den.
--from the Minnesotans for Sustainability site, on the page titled "Alpha Status, Dominance, and Division of Labor in Wolf Packs," L. David Mech

further cited as
Mech, L. David. 1999. Alpha status, dominance, and division of labor in wolf packs. Canadian Journal of Zoology 77:1196-1203. Northern Prairie Publication 1078. Northern Prairie Wildlife Research Center, Jamestown, ND.

See at < http://www.npwrc.usgs.gov/resource/2000/alstat/alstat.htm >. May 16, 2000. Northern Prairie Wildlife Research Center, 8711 37th Street SE, Jamestown, ND 58401-7317  

^{Which for my purposes means to me that the female alpha's protection extends over new pack members - for a very short while.}