Alice

Say hello to Alice the alley cat - the girls and I found her last Wednesday on a walk behind the local high school, literally in an alleyway. As you can see, her ear appears to be ruined, but we'll see how it responds to treatment. She's emaciated and weak, 5.7 lbs., hugely friendly. We came back on Thursday to get her but it was raining and she was nowhere to be found. Went again Friday around 3:30 after I was out of work and found her. We put her in the cat carrier and took her straight to the vet. She's clear of feline leukemia and other worrisome diseases, since I have other animals and couldn't have her around them until she was cleared. She has a bacterial infection of the ear. She sleeps a lot and eats and knows how to use a litter pan. She's so friendly that she's had to be a pet at one time.

I am inappropriate

This morning, daughter2 is getting ready for school. She's 11. I insist on putting some product in her hair because it's frizzing all over. She sits down with me and I look down and say "underwear," because her underwear was visible. You know how low-rise pants are.

After the hair is finished, she stands in the doorway and looks at me. There's something STICKING from her pocket, jutting out from her abdomen.

"Take that out of your pocket," I say.

"What, it's a marker," she says.

"Looks like you have a penis," I say.

She throws her hands up. "You're so inappropriate!" she screams.

"You don't want people to think you've got a penis, do you? I'm trying to help."

Stomp, stomp. Away from the Offender. Maybe I'm too blunt. It didn't help when I started laughing.